Memories!! Thanks for the Memories

Hi people, don’t we always see a pattern? Seems like everytime I’m busy with exams or assignments is where the blog has constant updates. Awesome no?

So I just got off typing a sentence on my Literature Review, yeah, a sentence. I seem to stop at every sentence and then continue to Facebook or something.

On another note, I found an interesting app recently. It’s called Graffiti, where you can really draw Graffiti on your friend’s wall. So if you’re a good enough stalker, you’d see some of my work. My personal favourite? The Dragon, D’oh!

While I’m here, might as well type something up. Take it as warming out for these fingers of mine. Today’s post is : Bullshitting 101

Yeap, that’s right! Today, you lucky stalkers are going to learn the art of bullshitting. If you’ve been staring at me in classes or anywhere for that matter, you’d see me speaking a lot of things confidently. Well, to be honest almost 87.6% of the time, I have no idea what I’m talking about.

Lesson 1 : Despite all the others have said, bullshitting works.

Lesson 2 : Bullshitting works almost all the time, the secret? Look confident in whatever you do. In fact, the more you talk about something without repeating things, the better or the more believable it gets.

Lesson 3 : When bullshitting, never, never stutter, say ‘Errr’ or smile coyly. This gives things away. Don’t do it.

Lesson 4 : While lesson 1 and 2 tells us that BS works, this lesson teaches you where it does not. Never, I repeat, NEVER, BS in front of someone who actually knows very well about the subject that you’re talking about. This may work on some lecturers, but the smart ones, if you try on them, you better pray you’ve been kissing up on them enough.

Let’s take an example. For the current Lit Review that I have to do, our lecturer is Mr Chuan. Now he may appear laid back and all, but the dude really knows what he’s talking about. No matter how confident you may seem in presenting your points, if it’s BS, he’ll sniff it out.

Lesson 5 : Quit while you’re ahead. When you’ve gotten away with BS, please don’t pursue the matter any further, unless of course the BSee enquires further on the subject. If that’s the case, make sure you spin a nice web of stories that’ll get you sidetracked into another subject.

Lesson 6 : Whenever possible, relate the BS subject to subjects you know about.

Lesson 7 : Statistics works. Not even joking. About 76.8% of my BSes use stats and even if it seems ridiculous, it works.

And there’s plenty more BS tips, but we’ll leave you to explore the wonderful world of BSing to yourself ayte. I’m not here to spoonfeed you, you got your mom to do that. (Besides, if I continue further my fingers wouldn’t have the energy to do the assignment)

Toodles!